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SpinDistribute.com Article Directory

The following article was published in our article directory on January 29, 2021.
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Fundamentals of Developing Emotional Competence

Article Category: Advice

Author Name: Douglas E. Noll

In her book series, Dr. Carolyn Saarni described emotional competence as functional capacity of human beings to reach their goals even after a very emotional encounter. It is actually a skill that will benefit you greatly if understood well.

Understanding Its Characteristics
Emotional competence stems from emotional intelligence. Both of them are related. The latter is often referred to as one�s ability to identify and manage emotions while the latter mainly focuses on the ability to freely express emotions.
That means your competence when it comes to dealing your emotions can be learned. This will help you interact constructively with the people around you. That aspect also makes it a very useful social skill.
This type of competence is also personal� nobody can manage your emotions but you yourself. It begins with the recognition of the impact of your emotions on yourself and how it also affects others as well.
A huge part of this skill is learning how to manage one�s emotions. From personal emotional control, you also learn how to adapt to the emotions being expressed by others. However, take note that you should first learn how to understand your own emotions before you can evaluate other people�s emotions.

Starting with the Self
To better control your own emotions, you should first identify your own emotional triggers. This is the first step in gaining better emotional competence. Take the time to review your day. What are the things that caused an emotional response?
It shouldn�t be just focused on your work life. You should also look into your personal life as well. Remember that you deal with your emotions both at work and in your personal affairs as well.

Where is the Stress Coming From?
It is natural for us to deny our feelings. This is especially true when we feel stressed. Some people want to deal with it in isolation�without the help of trained professionals.
The first step in dealing with these strong emotions is to identify and then acknowledge where it is coming from. Ask yourself how you felt:
When your boss/supervisor is around
When your kids ran to you when you got back home from work
With an annoying coworker
With the police
When you�re with your spouse
When the popular guys at the bar walked in
With people who depend on you
Take note how much stress you feel during such times. The next step is to accept such feelings.

Don�t Be Afraid to State Your Feelings
Here�s an interesting trick to help you manage your emotions and improve your emotional competence. Let�s say you�re feeling stressed at work and your coworker is getting on your nerves .
You can tell them frankly and assertively that you are already feeling stressed and then state what is part of work is causing it. And then tell them that you will be willing to discuss their concern later after you have dealt with your work load.
Being frank, open, and assertive about how you�re feeling will solicit understanding from others. It also signals your mind about your current state and you can start a self-care process. This is only one of the many practices that you can use to improve your emotional competence.

Keywords: emotional competence, emotional intelligence

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