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The following article was published in our article directory on July 9, 2014.
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Article Category: Aging
Author Name: Matt Weldin
Dad and Me
New to Alzheimer's? Is Mom or Dad about to move to a memory care facility? Are you "a tweener", not providing care but responsible for everything else: pick the facility, pay the bills, transport to/from the doctor, etc.?
If so, then this article series is especially for you. If you are an Alzheimer's direct care giver already then, aside from qualifying for special sainthood, this will no doubt seem familiar. But who knows, you may learn something too.
You will not find this to be article about the actual disease, per se. If you want to learn more about that check out the wealth of information already available on websites such as webmd, wikipedia.org, mayoclinic.org, alzheimers.org, to name just a few. Or check out the many books, websites, forums, and even support groups for patient care, techniques and standards-of-care for the caregiver and family, end-of-life considerations, etc.
A Little Background
Dad, in mid-to-late-stage Alzheimer's, is 84, resides in a memory care facility where his day-to-day care is provided by the staff. In keeping with the insidious nature of this disease, he is physically quite healthy and still able to accomplish most activities of daily living (ADL's) unassisted: eat, bathe, go to the bathroom, although not without being prompted and supervised. Mentally, he is conversant, funny, watches TV, laughs, and cries. He doesn't remember his deceased wife's name or any of us children's names for that matter. He recognizes faces and knows there's a connection but he's just not sure what the connection is. He now thinks of me, his eldest son, as "that great guy who comes to visit". I take him to church, out to eat, to his doctor appointments, etc.
This is about about Dad and Me and what I wish I had been told before becoming responsible for him as well as what I've learned since. This is about stuff they don't tell you about, gleaned from my own personal journey with Dad. Things I didn't know to even ask about and never expected to have to deal with. This is about trial and error, making mistakes, altering many assumptions. This is not a fictitious composite character. It's all absolutely real and true. You just can't make this stuff up. Truly, much is yet to be written about dealing with this disease.
How to Lay Out the Room
A hard, fast, all encompassing list is nearly impossible given that every one's situation is a little different. But, here are some things we as family learned about selecting, setting up, and organizing Dad's room.
1. As few a number of rooms as possible.
Dad's apartment consists of 2 rooms: One room big enough to accommodate his recliner, bed, and couch, all in separate areas of the room, a small desk, open shelves, and a small TV mounted on a swing arm for viewing in bed or in the easy chair. The other room? The bathroom and that's it. Multiple doors to multiple rooms are stressful and confusing. Simplify, simplify.
2. Easy access, easily seen.
Orient personal items such as clothes, shoes, pajamas, belt, socks, etc,, such that they are easy to access and easy to see. Do NOT use dressers with drawers or cabinets with doors We put Dad's personal items on an open shelf unit with large, open, and easily accessible shelves with no doors. His clothes are on open shelves he can easily see. Again, nothing blocking his view of his stuff.. At the foot of the bed, his shoes.
We initially tried labeling drawers, doors, etc, but Dad still found things confusing. He may find an item but it never got put back "in the right place". Visibility and accessibility eliminated the problem altogether. It's now one less thing to have to do.
3. Simplify the bathroom.
For the bathroom, minimize the sink-top area as in 1 tooth brush, 1 comb, a single razor, etc. Keep extra items such as t.p., shampoo, deodorant, soap, etc. again, in open shelving or wire grid shelves, bins, or drawers. Again, simplify.
4. Simple the TV remote.
Turning on and shutting off the TV, switching from cable to TV and back, switching channels, became frustrating, difficult, basically impossible for Dad. Our high tech solution? Cover all but volume up, volume down, power on, power off, channel up, channel down buttons with masking tape thus ending the confusion. Another solution may be an elderly-friendly remote. In any case, eliminate the confusion and simplify.
5. Remove all obstacles.
Locate all obstructions such as area rugs, phone cords, coffee tables, chairs, etc. at the room's perimeter. Keep the center of the room obstruction free. Now that Dad gets up at 1am, get dressed, and ask for breakfast. One time he tripped on an area rug. Never again. It's gone.
Up next? Cash, credit cards, the dreaded billfold, and a photo album. Later.
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