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The following article was published in our article directory on August 19, 2013.
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Good things take time....

Article Category: Advice

Author Name: L.A. Capdevila

Good things take time to make, whether a marriage, a business or just figuring out on how to truly live a good and happy life. Sometimes the beginning has its rough starts and even failure, but if you stick with it and you do not give up, great things come out of it. For example by the age of 24 I was married and divorced twice and this was in the 1970's when divorce was not as common as it is today. When I first met my wife many years ago a common friend of ours told her don't even look that way he been married and divorced twice and sure enough we did not see each other for a whole years after. The next time I saw her it was love at first sight and we were married 3 months later. This past December we celebrated our 30th year wedding anniversary.
Many people ask me why did we get married so soon? Well the truth is that her parents did not like me much because of my past reputation, so in my attempt to win them over I would take them lobsters, Alaskan King Crabs, shrimps and all sorts of seafood from our fish market. My dad told me "boy you better get married soon or you are going to bankrupt the fish market" and that's why we were married 3 months later.
Now even though I love my wife very much, we are complete opposites, when she is cold I am hot, when I want to go up she wants to go down. I could not figure her out. As I was charting though the success of my life, I thought that all I needed to do was to provide for my family and everything would somehow work out. I would give my wife great gifts' such as cars, jewelry, baby grand and top of the line electronic pianos, she did not even have to work. But it seemed that she would not get very excited about any of it. Even though I would not say much of what I observed, I would think to myself what else could I do to get her to shout and dance every time I gave her a gift?
On one occasion as I was on a life's peak, I was on radio, television, 3 publications traveling around the world and many more accomplishments, I arrived home from an oversea trip and no one was home waiting for me. I found a note on the kitchen island that said " apparently we are not important". I went into shock! What more did she want of me? New cars, big house, everything she need and she did not need to work. I got so mad that I went to a local hotel to think on what I was going to do. During that time I thought the Lord was going to comfort me by saying on you poor man you do so much! But something weird happened, for the next three day I had what seem to be a video run through my mind, and what I saw so impacted me that I had a change of heart. During this time I saw my wife's sad heart and face, my children always wondering where I was and much more. The vision changed my life. I went home and apologized to my wife and I shut down 80 percent of all of my activities. I felt that I had failed my family and my vision for success, so much so that year on my birthday I never left my bed, feeling totally defeated.
During this time of readjusting my life some wonderful things started to happen. My wife and I decided to take some time to develop a philosophy of life, in other words discover and get in agreement on everything we believed and wanted. You see you and your spouse may think you have the same values and beliefs and actually be miles apart. For example child discipline, for the most part you both believe children need to be discipline. but she may believe in disciplining through time-out and you may believe in spanking. You both believe in the same things but doing them differently. This could apply to every area of our lives. So it took us several months to come into total agreement of our life philosophies. One of the real neat things that came out of that was, we agree that every Monday night we would sit together and discuss most of the family business and affair. We agreed that if we had a disagreement during the week if all possible we would discuss it and find a solution on our Monday meeting. Do you know what happened? We rarely argued outside the meeting date and this great peace came over our marriage.
During this time we also discovered who we really were thru a Temperament coarse we took. The four temperaments are a proto-psychological interpretation of the ancient medical concept that suggests that four bodily fluids affect human personality traits and behaviors. The temperaments are sanguine (pleasure-seeking and sociable), choleric (ambitious and leader-like), melancholic (analytical and thoughtful), and phlegmatic (relaxed and quiet). The other dynamic that change our marriage and life is called the motivational gifts. We discovered what our motivational gifts were and we discovered ourselves and each other. The nail on the coffin sort to speak was the five love languages teachings. The five love languages is a real concept that once learn will change your life. All this time that I had been giving my wife nice gifts thinking that I was communicating how much I love and appreciated her, that was not her language . Her language was me spending time with her and doing things for her. My language was words of affirmation and touch. Could you imagine how many thousands of dollars I could have saved had I known this revelation before, just kidding.
In conclusion it took time to grow and learn how things work around us before we were able to enjoy them to the fullest. Imagine if I had quit because I was in ignorance and I ended blaming my wife for something that I did not know how it worked. The bad news is that then I would have started another relationship in the same ignorance and gone through the same pains and come out scared and bruised, verses having endured willing to figured it out and make the proper adjustments and today have one of the greatest marriages that it would take a whole book to tell you about. And yes after thirty years of marriages my wife and I still make love many times a week!!

Keywords: Advice, Business Opportunities, MLM, happiness, make money, family life, help, how to, multi level marketing, network marketing, change

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