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The following article was published in our article directory on November 17, 2012.
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The Basic Principles in Marriage Counselling

Article Category: Self Help

Author Name: Stehpan Madigan

When a relationship comes to a point where it needs marriage counselling, the marriage therapist will need to apply the basic principles in counseling on the couple. This way, they get a chance to salvage the relationship, while staying true to who they grew to be.
Regardless of which couples therapists you go to, the stages and principles of addressing your relationship problems are the same.

One of the first things that a marriage therapist willhave you recognize is the unique personalities of the individuals involved in the relationship. Oftentimes, partners fuse their lives and seemingly disappear into the marriage. This disregards the innate uniqueness of your partner. For instance, each partner may believe differently when it comes to societal norms, religion and such. You also come from different roots so the perception and approach to current realities will different.

Non-recognition of this fact can result in conflict. If this is ignored and couples therapists are not approached for possible resolutions, then you might lose the relationship you worked so hard for. You need to deal with conflict as soon as possible. It is said that a couples' ability to resolve conflict predicts their ability to stay together and not get divorced.

Ignoring problems and not going to marriage counselling will cause strain in the relationship. This strain, while small at the start, can grow to destroy a partnership. Something small can transform into maladaptive behavior that affects both parties, as well as close relatives and children if any. This is sometimes referred to as 'negative interaction cycles.'

Individual characteristics that are often to blame when these cycles arise are ego, anger, poor communications, bad health, and insecurity. At the same time, changes in realities can also affect behavior. A good example is if one partner loses their job.

Before such a situation comes up, it is best to seek the help of a marriage therapist. During couples counselling, the partners need to look at their perceptions and emotions. Couples therapists will try to realign these perceptions and emotions, and have the partners adjust to current realities. And with this realignment, each partner should take responsibility of their role in making the relationship work.

The next stage in couples counselling is when each partner decides on and adopt changes to the old structures that defined the relationship. This is important in saving the relationship. This is where they actively participate in saving their marriage.

The couple will need to continue couples counselling through this process. The therapist will check on the progress made when it comes to the realignment of perception, and adopting the agreed changes. This will need to continuetherapy as long as the conflict remains unresolved; or if, unfortunately, the couple just decides to quit on the relationship.

One thing to remember is that regardless of how good your therapist is, the crucial effort to saving a relationship will need to come from you and your partner. A therapist can only guide you through this struggle. You need to do the hard work.

Keywords: Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Couples Therapists, Marriage Therapists

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