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The following article was published in our article directory on December 26, 2011.
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Article Category: Dating
Author Name: Samantha B. Smith
Women find themselves in this position, and no matter how you get there, you have fallen in love with a married man. You wonder what you can do, you are not even sure what you want to do with this relationship. Do you really want to make him yours? or do you want to leave? You ponder every night, changing your mind every time and in the end you end up procrastinating yet another day - wasting yet more of your valuable time.
Look. Whatever it is that you decide, I think you would agree with me that this has got to stop. You cannot keep on dating a married man, emotionally tied to him like this forever. You know this relationship is doing more harm to your emotional being. And whether or not you end up with this man, you just want to know what you can do to get out of this rut.
There are a few things you can do. And before you go any further, I want you to set a new standard for yourself. Get a pen and paper and write down exactly a new standard that you want to settle for. Write it down without taking him into account; write it down as if you were a new woman in your twenties starting out on a dating journey. "I want to be the only woman in his life", "I deserve a real relationship", "I deserve a new life"...
And take the next step. Now I realise this is the hard part. Tell yourself: "If she's not leaving, I am!" And I know you've told him this before. I remember when I was dating a married man myself, I told him (and myself) this line over and over again. But one huge mistake I didn't do for close to two years was NOT to put my words into action. She's not leaving, and I was staying.
So what do you have to do? Well, stick by your words. If he cannot leave his wife then you've got to leave. You've got to stop letting him have his cake - and eat it too. Is it easy to be done? No, it's not. Play it over and over in your mind the fact that you want to be free. Know that it's not going to be easy because there is no shortcut to free yourself from a married-man addiction. You cannot take little steps at a time because this will just prolong your addiction to him.
So I'm going to break the news: the only way to free yourself from any addiction, is to step away from it cold turkey. Stop yourself from calling him and screen his calls. Better yet, change your number and block his emails. Box away his stuff and put it away. Stop talking to him, and stop referring to him in your conversation with any other human beings (read: your friends). Lastly, believe in yourself that you can do it.
Yes, I realize this is way easier said than done. But I've gone through this, and many other women have too. And this is why I've written a whole book "Forget Mr Married: How to break free from this toxic relationship and reclaim your life" with the intention to free women out there from the toxic relationship they are having. You may not hear what you want to hear, but taken from women's experience from all around the world, you owe it to yourself to finally do something about your life.
You warrant to be number one, and you deserve a real relationship with a man who would put you, and only you, first in his life.
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