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SpinDistribute.com Article Directory

The following article was published in our article directory on October 23, 2010.
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How to Win Your Ex Back After a Break Up: 3 Things You Must Do

Article Category: Advice

Author Name: JR Cie

Remember, our self esteem takes a big hit after a break up. Also, our emotions cloud our thinking and better judgment. For these reasons, the first step in winning back your ex is getting your head together. In other words, you need to regain clarity in your thoughts and actions.

During this time, you need to heal and regain a sense of balance. Right now, your physical and emotional well-being is likely at a less than optimum level. This leads us to the first commandment: Break off all contact with your ex. Now, if there are children involved, naturally, you will have to compromise. That said, if children are not a factor, there's no half-way to do this; you must avoid all contact with your ex.

The worst thing that can happen is that you begin to heal and make positive choices in your life only to have to start over after an unfortunate encounter with your ex. All your positive progress can be undone with a single, seemingly innocuous exchange with your ex partner.

After creating space so you can heal, the time is perfect for working on yourself. Take this opportunity to remodel your life. You could sign up for classes, join a gym, or volunteer for a charity. Any small achievements you can make will help boost your self-esteem. In addition, throwing yourself into new territory will engage your mind and keep you from indulging in old, unproductive thought patterns.

There's nothing more attractive than a person with high self-esteem and interesting hobbies to talk about. The more time you spend filling yourself up, the more you will have to share with another. This is not to say there's anything wrong with the way you were, it's just important to move forward in your life. Even if you're wanting to get back with your ex, you don't really want to go back to the way things were. If you both remain exactly the same, you will likely stir up the same old conflicts and end up with the same results.

Finally, take this time and space to get clarity on your relationship problems. Wait until you're feeling up to it though... Work on balance, self esteem, and then move onto the relationship itself. Make a list of the problems you were having. Consult a therapist or read a book about how to foster healthier relationships. Examine your role in the conflicts. Think about why you acted in the ways you did. For now, don't think about your ex's problems. Worry about your end of the bargain and find some areas that you want to work on.

Although this experience is almost universally painful, it also is an opportunity for amazing growth and self awareness. You can emerge stronger and happier than you've ever been before. Develop a new relationship with yourself. Find positive ways of taking good care of yourself. You may find this a time of rich, rewarding introspection. When you're feeling good again, think about the best ways you can reach out to your ex.

Keywords: after a break up, get ex back

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